January Jots from Judy
A new year begins and so begins the buzz of New Year’s resolutions. Will you make them? What will they target? Fitness? Organization? Better eating habits? I want to continue sharing a few thoughts from the book, “Family Ministry Field Guide” especially regarding the idea of goals and resolutions.
When it comes to whose responsibility it is to disciple children in the faith I would imagine very few of you expect the church to shoulder 100% of the responsibility. The author, Timothy Paul Jones, concludes that most parents believe it is their responsibility to disciple their children in the faith. This is not to say the church bears no responsibility, but God has placed the responsibility on the parents, especially fathers (Eph. 6:4). Unfortunately there is not much more than this felt responsibility—and probably a lot of guilt as parents find working this out in life to be difficult.
Jones boils down the roadblocks to a parent’s role in the discipleship of their children to two main issues: A Matter of Training and a Matter of Time.
The Matter of Training aspect is a challenging one. Most parents probably did not have this modeled well by their own parents. Jones recommends using sermons as the starting place for once per week devotions with children. Included in the time together would be prayer, an activity of some sort, a biblical text (from the sermon) and a few discussion questions related to the sermon.
But perhaps the bigger challenge is the Matter of Time issue. The research cited in the book indicates the greatest hindrance to having family devotions was they simply are not a priority for the family calendar. School and sports activities along with extra-curricular activities trump the priority for devotions together as a family as well as eating together as a family.
Jones writes, “This pattern suggests that a significant number of parents in our ministries have allowed their priorities to be shaped by the dominant culture—a culture wherein the primary goal of parenting is to produce children who become happy, well-paid adults. Parents perceive accomplishments in sports and schooling as their children’s pathway to present popularity and future financial success. As a result, athletics and academics define these parents’ design for their children’s lives.”
I write these words as a parent who did not do a great job at family devotions! Ross and I tried several things that didn’t feel comfortable and, sadly, we did not persevere to consistency. I regret it for a couple of reasons. First, we didn’t get the chance to routinely and intentionally speak into our children’s lives about spiritual things. If things came up, we addressed them, but it was not part of our family’s normal routine.
I also regret it because they did not see this pattern as routine, so they will be paddling up the same river that Ross and I did to try and figure it out for their own families.
In this New Year, I urge you to resolve to commit to routine family devotions. To push through the awkwardness that always accompanies new things and to make family devotions your family’s new normal. Start when your children are very young….or when they are just the age they are right now. There are lots of good resolutions to make, but the eternal significance of training your children to follow Christ has implications that will go well beyond fitness, an organized life, and a trimmer you!
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